care

once in a while, i feel like nobody knows me.

sure, they know my name, they know my profession, they might even know my background, my history. but they don't know me, not really. i wonder if anybody even really knows what i like, why i like the things i like, why i am the way i am.

it's not that i keep everything to myself, it's just that sometimes when i do share things to people, i wonder if they really care at all. because i'd know if they'd care, they'd find out more about it. they'd be more inquisitive about it, instead of bringing in new topics so i can stop talking about it. then i wouldn't feel like i'm the weirdo that does weird things and listen to weird music and read weird stories. and i wouldn't feel like i stick out like a sore thumb.

i'm sick of trying to like things others like, trying to fit in. i'm sick of people pushing away things that are important to me, while i have to cater to their taste. i'm sick of compromising.

but such is life, isn't it. not everyone can be the main character in their own life movies. there's always a need for supporting characters, and sometimes you're it.